Konataism: Learn to be Konata


First Haruhism, then Konataism, next what? Haruhism is the "religion" of people who are fan of the popular anime series 'The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya' while Konataism is the religion based on the character of Konata in anime series Lucky Star. There are many type of Konataism, though. I am not sure about different types of Konataism because only a few websites mentioned about it. Anyway, it’s fun to read it. 

Extreme Konataist:

Extreme Konataist are people who believe Konata is God, Haruhi Suzumiya as her sister, and Lelouch vi Britannia as her brother. People who are Extreme Konataist are hardcore otaku and people who don't ever do their homework. In order to be an Extreme Konataist, you must read all manga (including spin-offs), watch all animes (including specials and movies), and singing any song from an anime that Konata has done, never do any homework, and play lots of MMORPG's. Once you achieve Extreme Konataism, it is said that some lucky person would get a Code Geass manga from Konata herself. 

Haruhime: I can understand Haruhi Suzumiya as her sister, but I am not sure why Lelouch vi Britannia as Konata’s brother.*Is it because of Konata cosplaying him?* Haruhi Suzumiya appears very often in Lucky Star, fyi.

Undecided Konataist:

Undecided Konataist are people who do some of the things that Konata does. They might not do their homework and they watch anime, but they might not play MMORPG's. It is like they are not sure what level of Konataism they should be on. Undecided Konataist are common. Konata praises the Undecided Konataist, and she considers them "fanservice for the real world".

Proper Konataist:

Proper Konataist are people who think Konata is God, yet doesn't do the things that Extreme Konataist do. Proper Konataist complete their homework, do not play MMORPG's, and aren't really hardcore otaku. Konata may be displeased that they do not do the things she does, but is happy that they believe she is God.

Kagami Konataist:

Kagami Konataist are people who acts like Kagami and follows Konataism since Konata considers Kagami "moe".

Haruhime: Hmm… Scary, study hard, do all homework and live an ordered life like Kagami, but is a hardcore otaku, manage to read all manga, watch anime and play lots of MMORPG?

Haruhi Konataist:

There has been some controversy with this one. There is a religion called Haruhiism, where people believe Haruhi is God. Haruhi Konataist believe Haruhi is Konata's sister, making her just as holy and powerful as Konata. People fail to realize that this is different from HaruhistxKonataist, which are people who believe both Konata and Haruhi are goddesses ruling the heavens.

Lelouch Konataist:

It's just like Haruhi Konataism, but with more controversy. Many people believe the Lelouch Konataist believe that Konata and Lelouch are gods, but really they believe they that Lelouch is Konata's brother. The fact that Lelouch is Konata's brother comes from a demotivational poster showing Konata with Geass in her eye commanding people to watch more anime. This demotivational poster is currently on display at the Museum of Konataism.

The Ten Commandments of Konataism

As with Christianity, Konataism also had Ten Commandments. The commandments are usually for Extreme Konataist, but other Konataist follow them as well. They are: 

1. One shall always call someone who acts tsundere "moe".
Haruhime: Like someone acts like Kagami?

2. One shall be an otaku forever. It does not matter if one is hardcore or not. 

3. Thou shall not ever obey anyone else except for Lelouch and Haruhi. 

4. Thy shall respect Konata and her father. 

5. One shall read manga before one goes to school and goes to bed. 

6. One will play MMORPG's instead of doing homework. 

7. One shall watch anime and pout when baseball season comes, as that ruins the anime schedeule. 

8. One shall be lazy. 

9. One will comments on the size of someone else's breast. 
Haruhime: Konata always does that. ( ̄﹏ ̄)

10. If you follow Konataism, you must respect it and all of its other followers. 

The Future of Konataism
Scientists have concluded from recent test that by the end of 2014, Konataism would've become one of the largest and widely-practiced religions, with Haruhiism coming in second.

Haruhime: ???

Conclusion: I think I am interested in Kagami Konataist. It’s impossible for me not to do the homework and study hard. I’ll be kicked out. 

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